Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Because I've seen myself in the mirror

Estaysy being a character, as usual! haha I don't have any non-silly pics of her as of yet.

Day 28-Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Bilingual school again today. I got to work with Estaysy for most of the day 1 on 1. We read the Spanish and English Picture Bibles- she needs some work on reading Spanish and she needs a ton of help with the English. All in all, she was excited to read the Spanish book, and a little bit reluctant to read the English. She did a good job, though, and worked very hard. We then practiced conversations in English. I taught her different words and phrases to use for practical English. She was able to ask about my family and vice versa. She says she lives with her aunt, uncle, and dad and her mom lives in NY. I know her mom's in America, but i didnt know if her dad was in the picture or not...i dont know if she made up that her dad lives with her, too. Not quite sure yet. Then, after Recess #1, I went to work on an iMovie we were assigned to create called Soccer Evangelism, but with many distractions, i got nothing done. SO...i went back out to work with Estaysy more. She was very eager to learn today, and, of course, still cracking me up. She kept trying to put spiders on me, though, because i FREAKED OUT when a red spider was crawling on me--in my defense, theyre REPULSIVE. We then went to the AC room to work on more English, using a little chalkboard. She then started writing sentences on the chalkboard in Spanish. I was about to tell her to focus until i read what she was writing. She wrote (in spanish, though): "I'm ugly". [keep in mind, this is an 11 year old kid]. I erased it. She then wrote, "Do you want me to go away?" because earlier i told her to go back to her class when she wasnt being nice. I said no. She then wrote, "Don't you love me? yes or no?" and i said, "yes i do" and she wrote, "im ugly" again. I said, "why do you say that?" and she wrote, "because ive seen myself in the mirror." I started to cry, but i had to hold back the tears so she didnt see me. I told her that she's beautiful inside and out and that she shouldnt think that. I had to get bekah to work with her for a little while i went outside because i just didnt want her to see me crying about what she wrote. An 11 year old girl shouldnt be thinking she's ugly. Nobody should. When i told someone about it, they said, "its a part of growing up. she'll deal." but how can you say that when you see how it bothers her? I'm starting to think that she doesnt work hard not because she thinks she has to be lazy in America, but she feels worthless. I bet she doesnt get the support she should at home. She probably feels like a doormat, making her perceive this all that she's worthless and ugly. I talked to Mrs. Rumbaugh and asked how i should deal with this, and she gave me some tips. I want to try to show her the love of God...especially before this goes too far and could ruin her life. Pray for Estaysy and pray for me so that I may say the right things to lead her to hope in Christ. The Lord is throwing out challenges to me, but through Him, I can face them and succeed. He loves so that we, too, can love others.
When we got back from the school, we worked on more projects (iMovie, painting sheets for our Missionary Bible School, and made tortillas). There was an H-M (Honduras al Mundo) meeting, where about 25 people were present, including 4 from Paradise (Ever, Fredi, Linda, and Glendi--it was little Linda's 21st birthday and she walked 2 hours down a mountain and 2 hours back up on her own birthday!). When we were cooking the tortillas, Bekah had a little mishap with the gas stove...let's just say some of her hair is singed and she THREW HERSELF on the ground faster than ive ever seen anyone before. I couldnt stop laughing. hahahaha
We all enjoyed fellowship and the good food, then we came back up and worked more on the projects, then called it a night.

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